RuminateReverberateResonate
||r e m i n i s c e s || r e n d e z v o u s || r a m i f i c a t i o n s || r e p a r t e e s ||

Saturday, July 22, 2006

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#-Dear Lord, help me to be satisfied with You alone.

Well this weekend has been horrible so far. I've been feeling so abandoned. Suddenly I feel as if everyone takes me for granted again, as if I'm not significant to anyone. Can't someone make me feel special for once?

I was supposed to go out with Ivee to Mandarin on Friday, and then in the morning Adam asked me to take him n Boyle to Southbridge. So I asked Ivee if she wouldn't mind going Southbridge instead. She said it was fine. And it's not even my responsibility to confirm who Adam wants to take along, its his responsibility to tell me, but he didn't confirm and I had to call him to find out. I told Kelly as well and she said she'd drop by after awhile at social. Great. Ok so I made a booking for 4 people. At like 7pm I had to call Adam to confirm, which I'm not supposed to do since he was supposed to confirm with me, and oh he said he couldn't contact Boyle. So he tried again. After salsa I had to call him again, and now he said oh Boyle is not coming anymore, so I asked him to try to get someone else to go. So that leaves Ivee, Adam and me, plus Kelly later. So now Ivee tells me she's too tired to go. Perfect. Now just Adam and me, plus Kelly later. Ok I guess it wouldn't be that bad, since Kelly would join us, which makes 3 people, not so bad. Hoping that Adam found someone, I went to meet him, and turns out that he couldn't find anyone. Just the 2 of us, wow. Ok at this point I was rather upset, not only because 2 people cancelled, but also because Boyle, who along with Adam, were the ones who wanted me to take them there, didn't show. To add to that, Kelly snapped at me for not telling her exactly who were going and who weren't and all the changes in plan because her mum wants to know. Girl, HOW the heck was I to know you needed to know all these details? Furthermore, with all the last minute changes I was ALSO LOST, not to mention dissapointed. And, I'm NOT SUPPOSED to be responsible for all of this, Adam was the one who asked me to take them there last minute. You were the one who said you wanted to drop by. You really didn't have to snap at me and make my day worse. And then, when we were at Soutbridge, the music was less than terrific, and after social Kelly did drop by, literally, for like 5 minutes. Another no-show. I couldn't wait to get out of there.

And today while I had a nice Satay Party at Mr Chirnside's place, my dinner meeting got cancelled, but that I don't blame, becuase you had family commitments. I don't get how I go out of my way to please others and make them happy and they just take it as if it's no big deal cancelling on me.

But that was written 5 minutes ago, because with your apt timing, as what you said I had, you called at the most oppotune time, and tried to make me smile. Although I might not be totally convinced, but I really appreciate the encouragement. Thank you so much. So you feel my pain as well. Perhaps now you know how I felt when you were down. You are truly a Godsent.

So I guess I can't really blame anybody for cancelling on me. Sometimes it's tempting to just not care and not be so nice. Sometimes it's tempting to just indulge in pleasures. But I have to remind myself that the Lord sees, and He will reward me.

Prayer for today: Dear Lord, help me to be satisfied with You alone, nothing else, noone else.

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