RuminateReverberateResonate
||r e m i n i s c e s || r e n d e z v o u s || r a m i f i c a t i o n s || r e p a r t e e s ||

Sunday, July 09, 2006

-- Opened --

#-Dear you

Dear you,

You know I have feelings for you. I know I can't act on those feelings. Like you said, circumstances do not permit anything between us. I agree. Each day I pray that God will heal you little heart, the beautiful heart veiled by catastrophes I wish you never had to face. And even if it heals, there can't be anything between us, not yet, not anytime soon. It agonises me to know this. I plead with the Lord. I say,"if these feelings are not from You, take them away". I ask Him why He puts such strong affections in me, affections that He knows I can't act upon. I wonder if He is trying to teach me patience. My prayers flow from the bottom of my heart, Dear you, fervent conversations with the Lord, asking, pleading, crying.

I don't want to idolize you. I know how easy it would be. Perhaps that's what happened with him, that's why you're hurting so badly. I hope you know how toturous it is for me. I tread a thin line, Dear you. On one side I could fall into idolatry, on the other, I could pull away completely. But I can't pull away, I won't let myself, not only because I care so much about you, but also because God has brought our paths together for a reason, one we both do not see. I don't know how I'll keep this up. I constantly ask for wisdom, for direction. I try my best to guard my heart. Please guard yours as well.

If you do have feelings for me, then do this one thing for me, just one. Guard your heart. Pray that both of us will not be tempted to plunge into a premature relationship, before we both can commit to one. I'm not looking for companionship, I think you know me better than that. When the time comes, what I'm really looking for is a partner, to be sealed in Christ as one. We both know now is not the time for that. So pray for me as well, that I will not succumb to such temptation.

If you don't have feelings for me, then do me another favour, pray that I'll remain in Christ, always. It'll hurt me no doubt. I'll cry I assure you. But I know God has a plan for me. He alone satisfies my desires.

Dear you, dear you, why do you torture me so?
No, no, you're not torturing me, I'm torturing myself.
Dear you, dear you, sometimes I wished things were easier.
No, no, that would be worse wouldn't it?
Dear you, dear you, are you detriment then?
No, no, you're a Godsent.
Dear You, dear You, would You take this away?
No, no, trails produce perseverance, and perseverance, character.
Dear You, dear You, will You let me know Your plan then?
No, no, My ways are not your ways, trust in Me.
Dear You, dear You, will You then hold my hand and see me through?
Yes, yes, my dear, that I will do. I will never leave nor forsake you.

So Dear You, in You I will trust. And Dear you, I will stick around.

With Love,
Dear me.

-- Closed --

------------------------------------------------------