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Thursday, July 20, 2006

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#-Hectic week

Emotions have been rather tipsy lately. It's been a busy week so far, and will still be until the Sunday. Work has also been heavy. Ivan is going to be posted to QM Branch soon, so I'll have to take over his place and all his workload, which is quite overwhelming. I hope I'll still have time within the workday to read the bible and do quiet time.

It's so good to be talking so much to you again, and I have to say that I miss spending time with you. But then again, you are also the reason I'm in such a fix, the last 2 days especially. I've just been feeling quite afraid and uncertain. I really don't want to be attracted to you, because that just tempts me to desire a relationship with you, which I know is not what God wants me to do. Perhaps I have to learn to just drop all these feelings and just close my heart to these affections, to really guard. It's tiring to guard. Sometimes I want to let myself go, but that'll be disaster. I could probably get closer to you, become intimate, physical. I don't think it'll be difficult, but I don't want to play with your heart, like how I realize how easy it is for you to play with mine. So, I'm going to start to be less affectionate. I'm going to adopt my usual happy-go-lucky, careless and satirical self again. Whatever befalls, it is well with my soul.

Well other than feeling less than fantastic, on Tuesday I went out with my Jazz juniors for dinner after I dropped by their practice. It was fun, although I'd like to add that one of them is really queer, and I wouldn't want to know what goes on inside that Chinese head of his. Actually most of them are quite weird, but weird people are so much more fun. haha. And after dinner I had cake at Secret Recipe with one of them, a wonderful lady. Oh I just want to let you know that I love spending time with you, talking, flirting, whatever. I really see the Spirit in your life and it gladdens me that you have such a strong desire, no a passion, to know Him more deeply. I shall share the story of your friend that you told me:

There was this girl who went on a mission trip to Cambodia with her church. The kids in Cambodia love it when mission groups come and they always look forward to June and December when more youths are free to visit them. So this girl really had a heart for the children and for the ministry. When they were about to leave, a little boy came up to her and said,"sister, can we exchange bibles? When you come back the next time, I will give it back to you." The girl's bible was very beautiful, full of notes, letters, bookmarks and highlights. In between pages were little prayers and notes written on sheets of nice paper. The boy's bible was an old paperback copy, dog-earred, worn, with no notes nor letters nor highlights. She hesitated, thought for awhile, and then offered her bible to the child. There they exchanged bibles.

It's such a beautiful story. Such love. It really touched my heart, thank you for sharing. And thank you for opening up your life to me, by doing so you have enriched mine. I hope we can go out again on Friday.

On Wednesday I had to go over to JX's place to film his script. Was so tiring, considering I had a whole day of work before. But it was fun nonetheless, just that his script needed to be polished and we didn't have enough time to work with, so it won't be finished. Maybe in December when he comes back again, we'll get it done. Anyway, had dinner there, terrific home-made laksa, and Bak-kut Teh soup from some Sin Ming coffeeshop, which was sumptuous. And to top it off, Ian ordered Canadian Pizza to share. I went home feeling like a pig, and quite a terrible one because I could feel the food filling my whole stomach. So today I didn't eat breakfast nor lunch. haha.

Today is our Change-of-Command Parade, and I'll be going to perform at happy hour, which means I have to leave soon.

Tomorrow is my first Salsa lesson at jitterbugs. YAY!! Although I foresee myself being extremely bored, considering the fact that I've been doing much more advanced stuff at Attitude, but oh well.

Oh on Saturday Mr Chirnside is organizing a Satay Party at his place. haha. Quite cool, never heard of such a party before. I miss him, and the rest of the drama juniors. At least I have Karl to go with, so I don't feel too out of place, like the only one from my year. Looking forward to that.

And then, it'll finally conclude my hectic weekend. I hope I don't get too tired from all the activity. But then again, Attitude is having term-break so there'll be no weekend classes, so I won't be that tired.

Ok the performance calls.

-- Closed --

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