RuminateReverberateResonate
||r e m i n i s c e s || r e n d e z v o u s || r a m i f i c a t i o n s || r e p a r t e e s ||

Monday, August 14, 2006

-- Opened --

#-Child-like, or Childish?

Today, I realised that I have to constantly keep myself from urges, from desires. And many of those I possess, such that keeping them at bay is no mean feat. I have to make myself ignore the urge to call, the desire to sms, the yearning to be in constant communication, because it is just not healthy. To do so would be either obssession, or idolatry. That must be prevented at all costs.

So it shows what limited view people have of me. Many used to think I have an outlook beyond my years, still think that I'm mature, more so than those my age. And what pride I would take in that, what joy to be paid such compliment. But as I examine myself objectively, as I remove myself from my own being and look back, look inward, I realise the immaturity I display, the childish ways which still permeate into my actions, shows up in everyday life. To have a child-like quality and to be childish are both worlds apart. Child-like quality yes, that is the one to strive for, the freshness of youth and the boundless energy which flows out of one, the carefree and relaxed attitude, the boyish charm; these are qualities few can boast about. But on the other hand lies childish-ness, the insecure and selfish nature, the jealous and petty mindset, and the needy attitude. Although one might be mistaken for the other initially, over time and circumstances, distinctions begin to form and then the "boyish charm" easily morphs into "selfish nature". This I must avoid, for I know I have the child-like quality, but how easily it degenerates into childish behaviour if not kept on a tight rein.

Perhaps this is what it means for me to guard my heart, to capture every loose thought and submit it to Christ. After all, failure to do so can only spell disaster.

-- Closed --

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