RuminateReverberateResonate
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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

-- Opened --

#-For I know the plans I have for you

Sometimes, deep down inside, I do get frustrated as well. Frustrated that you just still can't let go, that you still reminisce about him. Of course I don't show it; I've never shown it. All I've been was patient, caring, loving. I really do care, how can I not? But whenever you write about him, how you miss him, how you wished you were in his arms again, it not only frustrates me, but it's also just so irritating and depressing. I admit I am certainly envious, perhaps hurt, that I've shown you nothing but utmost respect, care and concern, and love, and what do you do? You run back and think about him.

There's nothing wrong in that, I don't own you, and I try my best not to expect anything of you, but alas I have failed, because subconciously, I expect. Not alot, but nonetheless expectations. I shouldn't. He meant the world to you, you gave him your heart. Now it's just the brutally slow process of growing that heart back. It's not your fault that I'm annoyed, it's my own; my own insecurities that make me build expectations, my own selfishness that is frustrated by how long you take to get over it.

This is all I can offer to you: my love and care, my listening ear and advice. I wonder why I care so much, and not just leave and get too frustrated to care. I know you're not just another friend to me. You've been sent by the Father, you're just special. I will not give up, not lose hope, not fall away. Because the Father has loved me, so I will love you. I just wish you knew how much I dote on you, how precious you are to me. Yet all this I have to do while guarding both our hearts. All this I have to do without letting you have the inpression that I'm coming on to you, because really, I'm not. I will let you know when, or if, I do.

So go ahead, take as much time as you need. I'll be by your side all the time, whenever you need me. That's what friends are for. Even if you do not see, do not appreciate it, I do this service for God. Sad as I may be if it does so happen, God will be my guide, my planner. He sees what lies ahead, and what glory is set aside for me.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13

-- Closed --

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