RuminateReverberateResonate
||r e m i n i s c e s || r e n d e z v o u s || r a m i f i c a t i o n s || r e p a r t e e s ||

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

-- Opened --

#-No names

But I realise how much of a jerk I've been.
You have every right to be mad at me.
I've wronged you so badly.
But I hope, earnestly, that you'll forgive me,
That you can put this behind you,
That I'll possibly get through to you again.

If you really want to pull away from me,
Then I can't stop you,
Not with what I did.
I don't deserve your love and care.
But I pray that you'd be gracious enough
To still give me some.

Tears trickle down my face;
Realisation of folly tears my heart,
Haunts my mind, taunts my soul.
My being cries out for mercy from above,
Aches for direction.
Where is the lamp unto my path?

You give and take away,
But somehow, I know You will not take this
Yet. Fear rises in my heart,
For I tread on thin ice.
Yet overt caution I must avoid,
Lest another person I become.

So guide me, my Lord, raise me from miry depths. My heart cries out to You, for a miracle, because nothing short of that would do. I'm dissapointed with myself too. I'm ashamed. But Lord I know You're watching, and I trust Your divine guidance, because there is nothing else for me to trust. I want to stop just as much, so Jesus empower me. I have caused pain Father, and in my reflection it is ugliness I see. The glory You have given me retreats, to reveal my own selfish nature, my own dark person. Take that away Lord! I don't want it. I want that glory back, the one You promised, the one I used to reflect. Now it's all gone, just as what she said in despondency. Restore my light dear Jesus, my shining beauty, please.

And finally you're back!! I've missed you, and while you were gone so were the other 2, leaving me alone. But ever since council, you've been neglecting me more and more. So many other fun friends. At least I know you still love me. Hopefully we can have a good talk soon. And I've been praying for you, for protection from all the wiles of the Evil One that I know you'd be exposed to on the job. At least you'll have time to mature in University before you come back and to continue serving.

And another you is back too!! So that makes 2 out of 3 who are back. But you haven't even spoken to me on msn. I don't know what happened during your trip but I hope it's nothing that bad that you don't want to talk to me. Thank God for bringing you home safely. I know I was quite snappy before the trip, and I'm sorry, but it doesn't help that you keep saying the same thing over and over again. At least say something I don't already know myself. you're jsut rubbing it in and annoying me like that. I hope I'll be better soon, so for now, my apologises.

Wow, I'm not mentioning any names today. I just don't feel like. I desperately need to get back on my feet. Soon.

-- Closed --

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