RuminateReverberateResonate
||r e m i n i s c e s || r e n d e z v o u s || r a m i f i c a t i o n s || r e p a r t e e s ||

Sunday, February 11, 2007

-- Opened --

#-Play ma' game baby

Some things just cannot be expressed without body contact eh? Yea I guess you're right. But somehow I think it's so hardwired in me that it wouldn't allow me to initiate any physical contact. Sometimes I really do want to reach my arms to embrace loved ones, to show them my care and love, but I just can never bring myself to do it. And as much as I yearn to, my mind doesn't send the relevant signals needed to stretch my arms out in anticipation for so much as a hug.

Even when people do give me hugs, I feel rather awkward usually. It's ironic isn't it, that I want to embrace them, but can't bring myself to do it, and when they do it, I feel out of place. And I'm sure they can tell, which probably makes them stop altogether.

Maybe I need someone who can help me overcome my contact aversion. Then again, this will be treading on thin ice, as temptation for more will surely creep in, and with such a promise I made to myself, I have to avoid such dangerous situations.

And so I have to get married too, due to such a vow I made to myself. Yea perhaps. And while I have such a noble goal, God certainly has His own plan for me. So maybe, just maybe, I'll be blessed with the gift of singlehood, which mind you I'd be glad to receive as well, and my promise will not even be noticed, nor be of any significance. Can you imagine that? Me, single for the rest of my life? ...Yea, me neither.

Apparently, I'm a demanding person in terms of requirements for a partner. According to a friend of mine, I need someone who has personality, but can't outshine me. She must be un-clingy, and "knows how to play my game". By the way I have no idea what that means. But, having said that, we all know we don't stick to our "requirements", especially after meeting someone we can really connect with.

So next time you see me, offer me a hug, because you know I sure as hell won't be able to do it, even though I probably want to.

-- Closed --

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