RuminateReverberateResonate
||r e m i n i s c e s || r e n d e z v o u s || r a m i f i c a t i o n s || r e p a r t e e s ||

Sunday, April 15, 2007

-- Opened --

#-Love hurts

My Ma'am says I'm like a woman...because I get migraines so often. 20-25% of women experience it and most of them during their period. 15-20% of men get it too. This time mine was so bad it was almost cripppling. Last week I had one, which lasted 3 days. This week, I had another, lasting 5 days, and the peak for this one hit during the time I was attending the HR seminar. I had to excuse myself during the break to go to the medical centre to get some medicine, and this is no mere headache man. Think normal common headache but 10 times the magnitude and 10 times the duration...continuously. Loud sounds irritate you, and bright lights really push you over the edge.

So there I was lying in the sickbay, after taking the painkillers that the doctor gave me (which didn't provide much relief at all), and the sickbay had the lights on full blast! The pain was so bad I couldn't even sleep, so I covered my eyes and toss and turned for an hour until finally the medicine took effect, which doesn't mean less pain at all, but rather just a replacement of some of the pain with a numbing sensation and nausea and dizziness. How's that for SAF medication.

And then, after the seminar, which ended the same time as the closing hours for the medical centre, I had to drive Ma'am, Robin and Shaun back to camp, while feeling like a zombie. Dangerous you say? Well just a tad. haha.

I went to see the Neurologist yesterday and he gave me some powerful pills for migraine, which I took straightaway of course. But it didn't seem to work too well and I went clutching my head to dinner with Uncle Malcolm. But my Dad was pissed at this behaviour so decided to drive me home, where on the way he gave me a lecture about how my behaviour was making everyone miserable and how my mood recently has been terrible, possibly due to all the illnesses I've been getting lately. He said by behaving like that Mum can't let me live overseas in peace and that I need to show that I can be independent. It isn't easy for them to let me go overseas. Then he took a U-turn and drove me back to the restaurant and asked me to stop behaving this way.

He was right. Although it really was painful and the bright lights and loud noises of the restaurant didn't help my migraine, nor the fact that I can't talk due to the ulcer in my mouth, making other people miserable because of my problem isn't nice at all, and it was selfish of me to do so. Not to mention how from this time till I leave I have to show my parents that I can be independent. I cried in the car, not because he scolded me, but because of how easy I could let people down, and I hate letting people down.

I hate always having to be so strong.
I hate the fact that even though I hate being strong, I still have to be.

But they still aren't open to some things I do.

-- Closed --

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