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Saturday, September 15, 2007

-- Opened --

#-Roots

Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless.

I don't know, it seems I haven't had the mood to write much on this site, what even with what seems to be a huge step in my life, travelling to UK and staying there for the next 6 years at least. Maybe I'm just avoiding writing to avoid the possible bittersweet feelings I know I harbour about leaving Singapore, while burying myself in practices, gigs and stuff.

It's only 2 weeks away.

While I can't wait to get out of the army, and experience everything new there, there will definitely be things dear to me I leave behind in sunny Singapore. Can I hold up without the chilli and food, oh CHILLI!!! and GLORIOUS FOOD!!! And to think I've been establishing my name as a good jazz bassist here in the last 2 years. Come to think of it, Singapore Jazz Orchestra has just started to become more known in the industry, and just when it's about to get exciting, I have to leave. I wonder, no I think I already have written about this before, but really, this is such a big part of my music life.

Well the last SMU gig was, let's just say it was well-received, even though we knew the balance was screwed up and we couldn't hear much of each other on stage. Actually, it's a good thing we recorded it, so then I have both recordings of SJO and I can compare some tunes, as well as use it as a demo. Just one more recording in my portfolio to show how much I have progressed through the years and gigs.

I was talking to Sam the other day, and I do sometimes regret pushing her away and being so afraid of commitment at that time. I mean I know there are better things ahead of me, but I still think she's beautiful, not to mention how conversations with her are always enjoyable. She really did love me, but I blocked her out, which was terrible of me actually. Think about it, she's such a smart and brilliant girl, but still she is able to submit to her partner, which is something important to me, yet scary at the time I was with her. I reckon if I were to see her regularly now, I would develop feelings for her again, but perhaps this time I wouldn't be so relationship-adverse.

Watching Britain's Got Talent on YouTube yesterday, I remembered just how beautiful women are when they cry. Perhaps I'm just weird but there's this beauty in their agony that just stirs up something in me, making me just want to hold them close. Or maybe it's just such a raw emotional expression that portrays the human body in a pure light. Or, yeah I'm probably just weird.

By the way, for those who think the winner of America's Got Talent Bianca Ryan is good, please go check out this 14 year old girl Charice Pempengco. Now that is a big voice, with the control that Bianca probably can't muster until she gets years of intensive training.

I reckon I'm gonna like Britain, or Europe for that matter, don't you?

2 more weeks.

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